At this moment, 29th July 2017, if I calculated it correctly, I am exactly 10 months and 17 days away from entering another decade of my life. More than two months after I started my blog, and I have been thinking a lot of topics which I can write about. Topics from different places where I went to, the people I met, the experiences I have gone through, and many more. I wanted to give each of them their own title and chapter, but I struggled especially when I know that writing about any of them means looking back, you know, from the past. Old feelings which I thought have been gone over time may be rekindled and it may not be a good idea for someone like me who is trying to focus on what is present and move forward, and knowing that I may be trapped again from the intense emotions of the past. The thought of recognising those past memories, and the thought of wanting to write about my present and future, had given me this one idea of just combining them all in one.
You may always see “to be continued” tag in this post along the coming days because I cannot promise that I can finish this in a day or two. There’s pretty much of a topic to discuss, after all, it’s a 5-year story.
Remember my first story https://instamargs.wordpress.com/2017/05/11/first-blog-post/ ? I mentioned there that I happened to have a story in my Facebook account which talked about most of my childhood stories until my life during my first work. And I can remember having said there that the story is to be continued after 5-years again. And now here it is.
I want to begin by sharing some old photos which I saw during my recent vacation.
When I was younger, looking at these photos make me feel very ashamed of myself because of how I look (literally). I can say that my looks then were miles away from how my other siblings looked like when they were younger. I even came to a point when I felt envious with them because they were all good-looking. But as I grow older, I have come to appreciate my physical aspects more, no matter how it looked to me or how others looked or will look at it. I came to appreciate the innocence which I have before, and the simplicity and authenticity of the life I have once passed by. During my last week of vacation last June-July, I sent an e-mail to a “trusted friend” of mine, sharing all the pain I have been through this past years, both the oldest and most recent. I was expecting a response from him a day after I sent him the e-mail, but I did not get it, not until I came back to Abu Dhabi. But you know what, I realized that not getting a response or an answer that time had a purpose. It made me helped myself to fully release and let go, no matter what. How? I witnessed that I have no other options for myself BUT TO LET GO. And so I did. And at this very moment, I can say and I want to believe that somehow I did. The memories of the past are still here (in my mind), it will always be there no matter what, but the weight of it, they were all gone. Somehow, I have felt and heard the apologies of the people who have hurt me intentionally or accidentally, and the forgiveness which I wanted to have from the people I have hurt. And I think it might not have happened should I have received a response right after. The time when I felt God had been silent on me, was the same time that I needed to finally pick myself up and let go. And it’s a very good thing.
Here are some other things which I saw during my vacation:
Couldn’t believe my 24 years can fit into boxes like these. If you guys happen to have same boxes like these, which I believe you designed as well depending on your personality, then I can say that “Well done”. It also felt good to look at the stuff which once have made you smile and “kilig” or whatsoever.
Couldn’t believe I got nine shirts from my previous work, all from bunch of activities they offer to all the staff. I really loved the fact that they were not only into improving a staff’s personal and professional life, but also into boosting one’s social life. I worked with Herald Suites group of companies I say (back then they also have Herald Suites Solana, Hatsu Hana Tei Restaurant and Coca Cafe, and now I heard they will be having another addition to the family) for about 3-years (from June 2009 to June 2012). It was April 2009 when I graduated college and my primary goal then was to find a good job. After all, it was the reason why most people prefer to finish their studies. I still can remember when I had this interview with Sir Charlie (the Accounting department’s head), and it was a day before my birthday, so I really considered getting that job as a gift from God. I was really amazed and moved. And so my journey with Herald Suites began. My 2009 to 2012 have been filled with Company Christmas Parties, Accounting department’s Christmas dinner dates and “gala” everywhere, “bar hopping” (hehehe), Team-building & cultural visits, Company Summer outing, Sports fests, Charity works, a lot of Company lunch and dinner during our President’s and other managers’ birthday, and a lot more. I have hundreds or even thousands of photos with them which I really want to share, and the space here may not be enough, so here are some:
More photos to be posted soon (link TBA)
Tagalog muna ako from this point onwards (nosebleed na lola nyo, hehehe). Sarap din i-reminisce yung part ng Herald story ko nung time na nakilala ko yung isang naging crush ko. May dalawa akong naging crush dati – si Sir Raffy at si Nats. (O wag na masyado mag-react kung kakilala nyo sila ah. Matagal na yun and I know they are now at their happiest so I am also happy for them). Si Sir Raffy kasi yung parang napapanood ko dati sa mga movies, yung ii-imagine mo na stable enough, may magandang trabaho, matured mag-isip, tipong husband material. Pero naging crush ko lang sya for a short period of time, dumating kasi si Renato a.k.a Nats. From FO sya, then una ko sya naging crush Dec 2010, hanggang sa pag-alis ko. Dati nagkakausap pa kami kahit na umalis nako, then all of a sudden nawala na din yung communication. And as far as I know, sobrang masaya na din sya wherever he is and whoever he is with right now, and I am very happy na din for him. Kung maka-offend man ako kung ipo-post ko man yung ilang photos ko with him, sorry in advance. Gusto ko lang siguro i-recognize yung isa sa mga mabuting tao na I had the chance to meet along my Herald journey. And I want to thank him din for everything he had shared to me and for being a gentleman and a good friend.
The next pictures naman were taken after ako maka-resign, and during my last days in the Philippines bago yung una kong alis. Nung nagwo-work ako sa Makati, once a month lang ata ako umuuwi, at pag umuuwi ako, hanggang loob ng bahay lang ata ang nararating ko. I mean, yung likod na part hindi ko na yun nararating, so yung 1st to 3rd pic, yung Mother ko at si Dada, “tinour” nila ako at enjoy na enjoy naman sila. The last four photos naman, I was with my high school friends. Nagkikita-kita talaga kami noon pag may chance. Sana maulit ulit very soon 🙂
And then so, my international journey had began…
It was 2nd to 4th Quarter of 2012… come, take a look..
Sobrang nagulat ako dun sa second picture, as in ngayon lang, at this moment. Nakita ko may nasama sa photo na Jettainer container, and noon pa lang pala, I was destined to work somewhere related to this container, my current workplace – Total X. May mga ganong moments din talaga sa life na minsan makikita mo yung connection, yung reasons kung bakit nandooon ka sa isang lugar or isang situation. Hindi maiintindihan agad-agad, or during the moment, but time will come na masasabi naten na “ah kaya pala”.
Nung mga unang week ko, wala pang pressure kasi puro pasyal lang muna. Magkasama na yung gala kasi kelangan i-familiarize ko yung mga daan, mga pagsakay ng bus and everything para madali na saken pag makahanap ako ng work. Nung time na yun, nagwowork na din sa Dubai yung college bestfriend ko na si Elaine so first weeks ko, nakakasama ko din sya. Eto yung picture ng unang gala namen ni Elaine when I came. Pinasyal nya ako sa Dubai Mall. And first time ko yata nakasakay sa Metro?
Eto naman yung mga unang napuntahan ko with Ate and Ian, and Lianne (baby pa sya noon)…
Nakadami din ako ng iyak noon, pinaghalong homesickness and pressure na makahanap agad ng work, kasi in the first place, yun yung goal ko kaya ako umalis. Nakwento ko na din ‘to ng konti sa http://instamargs.blogspot.ae/ . Natapos ko na yung original 1-month visa ko, then nagpa-extend na ng another month. Madami din interviews yung napuntahan ko, pero ako kasi yung tao na, pag hindi settled yung pakiramdam ko, hindi ko kukunin. I had two job offers na I chose to turned down, both in Dubai. Yung isa na-reject ko sya siguro a day after the offer, and the second was with an architectural consultancy business. Dun sa second, nag-start na ko mag-work for several days, until one morning I decided not to pursue, kasi nga yung loob ko noon, mahina and was looking for more. After that, medyo nahirapan nako maghanap. Matatapos na din yung extension ng visa ko, later part of July or early part of August, and medyo nangangarag nako, na andun nako sa point na “bahala na, kahit ano na lang kukunin ko na”. My sister was giving me an option then to go to Kish for some time until I get a new visa, pero ayoko. I decided to go back to Philippines. Before I leave, a week before I guess, I got a call from a company for an interview. Luckily, I got in. Guess where? Yep! Total X.. I still went back to Philippines then until Sep 2012 when I was scheduled to go back to AUH and start at work.
I won’t reiterate much of my 5-year story in full, just a few which for me now, matter the most.
Travel & Leisure
I am a homebody type of person most of the time, but it does not mean that I am not open to any chance of going out and have fun, although I can say that it was/is not also always easy for a friend or a family member to convince me to go. Most of the time kasi, I always want to have every detail of a trip be planned, and when I say “planned” it means everything “should” happen the way I/we planned it. BUT, let me say this, I “realized” now that it is NOT good. I mean planning itself is a good thing, but expecting all things to happen according to plan is quite inappropriate, especially since we know that life is full of surprises every time. And until now, I am still finding ways to learn how to just go with the flow, cherish every moment, good or bad, be open to changes along the way, and to fully enjoy no matter what – well, still learning.
It is very noticeable, now and then, that travelling is always listed in every person’s bucket list, and I am not an exemption on that. In fact, like everyone else, I also have my own list of places which I want to visit soon or someday, and I will surely share them here once it happened. I really admire UAE for having such astonishing and one-of-a-kind types of structures for their parks and buildings. Isa talaga sa gusto kong gawin is yung magpa-picture dun sa mga kakaibang buildings nila dito – may pabilog, may nakatagilid, at kung anu-ano pa. May mga ilan na napuntahan ko na, may mga ilan pa na hopefully, mapuntahan ko din. May mga ilan na yung mapuntahan mo lang ng isang beses is enough na, some naman masarap din ulit-ulitin.
My version of travel includes a lot of mall hopping, hotel visits and stays, theme parks, food and road trip, long walks, beach and many more – which is either with a friend or two, with family or alone. Let me share to you some of the places (local and out) which I have gone so far for the past five years (some of which have been shown to you earlier in this story).
…to be continued